EXTRACTS FROM AGENCY WRITINGS

• Document Type: FOIA
• Collection: FOIA Collection
• Document Number (FOIA) /ESDN (CREST): 02478819
• Release Decision: RIFPUB
• Original Classification: U
• Document Page Count: 4
• Document Creation Date: March 9, 2023
• Document Release Date: November 25, 2020
• Case Number: F-2019-00186

Approved for Release: 2020/11/23 CO2478819
may be hard to believe but the folio
ters useid repeatedly:
of the fa
connection �
CA:astral IsteIli
t the isteree
active ose."
this better?
Your applicat
being cons
you promptly.
/ sr. yet unable to report say deci-
our application for employment with
ASAWYA I do' want you to blow- once
retaia_ ix your qualifieations ie
or erpioy
. Whew lee
There's what. we eliminated:
Consider this one!
t ix this Agency is still
on is made we will notify
25 words
18 syllables
3 two syllable ivors
1 three syllable word
2 four syllable words
4 prepositional phrases
*Should there be *my red
regarding your ixteremt
any question, regardiag
want to iswite you to c
your convesiene "
is clearer?
col cheap in your personal plane
is this Agency, or should you have
the particulars ix your case,
onsulticate with ire by letter at
It you have any questions or if any personal chaw
affect your interest is your application, please wr
priming eliminated:
21 words
36 syllables
5 three syllable words
3 tour syllable words
5 prepositional phrases
should
te us.
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At-TEN-MX B
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A fl
"1m view of tht circumstances in your letter we con real-
ize that you are is no position to consider employmeat at
this time. However, we do wish to suggeat that you get in
touch with us foam in the event you becoce interested in
a position her at any time in the future."
this sharper?
We realize you cannot
conditions change so
will be pleased to hear
Modern. tinee e 31 for-
examples prove that mosey
grasp, what we are **Ting mu
our writings?
1
ze some of our
that iii, we mi
11 get rid of r
re sylieblee to a mi
o twenty-one words, and
examples:
t * position with us
u will wish to recon
you.
iii*. It yoadit that theme
be save -that our readers will
they will need less time to read
0 writing. This ceU or
sentences, sad pars-
We will keep our words
tenees to OA average length
n the use of prepositions.
reason, everyemployee of the Organization whose
volve the obligation and expeaditure of coafiden-
ehould lot only underetand the Regulations gorerr-
obligation and expenditure but the undlerlying
'ea as well."
Let's see how we can improve it!
Every Age y employee w)toae duties authorize him to han1e
confidential funds should uwieretsad applicable regulstons
and all basic principles.
Here's vkat happened: We aut the original sentence from 35 to 19 words
and from 75 to 43 syllables. Because of the nature of the subject can-
not eliminate all long words. But we have out el t of the four syllable
words to four, and. eliminated one five syllable word. Do you think the
revision is more readable, that you spent lees time reading it, and
possibly you will romenber it longer?
APPENDIX B
Approved for Release: 2020/11/23 CO2478819
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oo at another one!
1eet1oa of authority for partioular motto's to levels
cot ere to provide the degree ofdiscretionary jug-
men ommeasurate with the megeitude or siglificaxce of
the aot. involved.
Tliii ape.ared ae ax eatire paregreph. Isn't it difficult to underetand?
Are* trylag %o gay that certaie teeke will be aseiened to personmel
who are qualified to handle thee? toesm't the uee of "levels" here sound
a* though they are Aremoctrc deer: to others?
Can't we sift thir oxeT
"The Organization reul*tory eye -em povtdes
for the expression of oliciec an roced.ureseasetial to
the performaxcri of the: Orga 17Attioll ViellitIt. it e
pasees- end 4e1iseates- the fuections of all epo*tts o
the Orgeetestioa iedividuelly and collectively with the
objective of estebliebleg *bogie-mess of purpose cad effi-
cleeey and continuity of operatioael tad admiaistrativa
activities."
one possible revisiom:
The OrgemizaAon regulatory system expresses iclicies and
erocedures essential to our mission. It describes the
-functions of all Orgaeinetiom eomponeits to establish a
siagis aus sea promote coatinuity and efficiency in Oper-
atiomal *ad adateistrative activities.
VIR
s policies bm4 procedure* are issued is
These regulatioes cover girl deseribe all
1 visions. Their aim ie for efficiency eed
rational end administrative activities.
97TE A LOOK Al.' OUR REPORTS
Sometimee long words are necessary in repo
within boumds, however, and the seeeeimg ca
emple from oat of our reports:
Consultation* with appropriate ousel tovard the solv-
ing of procurement exl external earwe bettleeeche is
coetteued."
� Seeteaeee can be kept
leer. Hero is a good ox
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X B
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But-
eoesn't t
ULU, 7r0u S bit?
"Thert was 'Jive uet tc ad t the Avney �
system but the recommendation,: provided for waiting utti
the materiel oD ell: 14,visions cold be reviewed in order
that the manual could tv4. adapted for the- entire Office,
rather than this one division."
nvey- tbe same thht it a vore utderstandeble end rea
xamp el
ii WL8 agree
ottLce wi0i.
be reviewnd bcf
- Till system c uld be: adapted
meter; 1 from_ ell divisions must
can be done.
He= is something more interesting than_ a crovord
redueo these expressions to. simple language, They were taken 1D o
reports.
"... all under he
obligation..."
Th*. sense of 4lie group seemed to b tit in part this was
po sible.
"...such wasted effort would not Ob.
a
-as dependent upon economic research in greater depth."
ft.. .and. the Agency will have an exchange of views in order
to obtain..."
Approved for Release: 2020/11/23 CO2478819