MASTER SPY

• Document Type: CREST
• Collection: General CIA Records
• Document Number (FOIA) /ESDN (CREST): CIA-RDP75-00001R000100160144-1
• Release Decision: RIPPUB
• Original Classification: K
• Document Page Count: 2
• Document Creation Date: December 9, 2016
• Document Release Date: August 23, 2000
• Sequence Number: 144
• Publication Date: December 31, 1965
• Content Type: TRANS

Approved For Release 2000/09/08 : CIAda-001 R000100160144-1
Attachment to: OFHA-1332
Translation of article in
----KANSAN UUTISET= _31 _Dec _65. Helsinki. Finland
-- _--
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MASTER SPY
o you ow some o y w nose a i es n ca e a
he would be good at spying and sedition? If so, perhaps
it would pay him to apply for the top spot in the US
espionage organ, the CIA (Central Intelligence Agency).
This post is certainly well paid, there's plenty to do
and a bottomless supplycf money with which to do it. The
post is being vacated because Washington does not seem
satisfied with its present espionage chief, Vice-Admiral
William F. (Red) Raborn.
According to the latest "Newsweek" magazine, Raborn
has made some unforgiveable blunders. Sometimes he has
not known the names of certain heads of state. Nor has
he known certain capital cities and how to pronounce
their names. At one meeting he interrupted the speaker
,to inquire what he (the speaker) had meant by the word
"oligarchy." On his first day in office he organized
the invasion of the Dominican Republic, bringing the USA
into an awkward situation. In addition, he has been
overshadowed by the Defense Departments (McNamara's)
espionage organ, DIA. And in vying for success, CIA's
nine different sections and DIA are spying on one another.
And to top it all, Raborn is supposed to be such a poor
golfer that it is difficult for an important foreign
visitor to lose to him, even out of courtesy.
With the highest and mightiest of all American
espionage agents being of this calibre, it is not difficult
to imagine the following telephone conversation:
ApprovedTor Release 2000/09/08 : CIA-RDP75-00001 R000100160144-1
 Approved For Release 2000/09/08 : CIA-RDP75-00001 R0001 00160144-1
CPYRGHT -2-
"Lyndon? Red here. Have you heard?"
"Heard what?"
I "That there was a left-wing victory in the Finnish
electionsd"
'That can't be good. Should we do something?"
"Well..."
"Lyndon, don't hesitate. A quick attack is better
than long meditation. The president of that country,
Cecona, is the one who chums around with those Reds
in Moscow."
@'Yes...Keko...Keko...I've met him. A bald type."
"Bald? I never heard of a bald Negro."
"What do you mean, Negro, Red?"
"In Africa, everybody's a Negro."
"What do you mean in Africa?"
"In Africa, in Africa. Sudan, Finland, Sambia."
"Red, Finland's not in Africa. Its in Scandinavia."
"Scandinavia? Never heard of it."
"Oh Hell, Red, Finland's in Northern Europe. If I
remember correctly, I sang at a market-place when
I was there and I handed out ball-point pens at a
cemetery."
"Doesn't matter where it is, but the left wing won the
elections, and that's bad. It could happen in Africa
as well as in Europe. Something should be done. Isn't
there any American property there that we could start
protecting?"
"Now let's not be in such a rush, Red, like we were in
the Dominican Republic. Let's look over the situation
and see-what happens to the stock of the cellulose factori
That Finland produces a lot of cellulose."
"Oh well, Lyndon, if that's the way you want it. Just one
question, though."
"What? "
"What is cellulose, Lyndon?"
An ved For Release 2000/09/08 - CIA-RDP75-00-001 R0001 001