THROUGH 1984'S LOOKING GLASS

Document Type: 
Collection: 
Document Number (FOIA) /ESDN (CREST): 
CIA-RDP90-00965R000200930019-1
Release Decision: 
RIPPUB
Original Classification: 
K
Document Page Count: 
1
Document Creation Date: 
December 22, 2016
Document Release Date: 
January 19, 2012
Sequence Number: 
19
Case Number: 
Publication Date: 
January 1, 1985
Content Type: 
OPEN SOURCE
File: 
AttachmentSize
PDF icon CIA-RDP90-00965R000200930019-1.pdf60.04 KB
Body: 
' "...,..,.....,..._ .., , -,. '- ,....~... .. ry , ?rr....,.' .... ..., . ARTICLEAPPEARED . WASHINGTON POST ON PAGE-_-- f -_, 1 January 1985 ART BUCHWALD Through 1984's Looking Glass A lot of people lied to all of us in 1984. Here are just a few of the whoppers I remember. "I'm from the telephone company, and I'm here to save you money." "The rise in the price of a postage stamp from 20 to 22 cents will speed up the delivery of a first-class letter." "Every dollar in the Defense Department budget will be accounted for." "With the new human services cuts I have recommended, no one truly in need will suffer. "By merging these two great companies we will cut costs, increase productivity and provide better services without laying off one single person." "If I am elected, I will not be beholden to any special-interest group." "We're willing to negotiate with the Americans seriously on arms control." "We're willing to negotiate seriously with the Soviets on arms control." "The CIA has no intention of overthrowing the Sandinista government in Nica raana " "Geraldine Ferraro's sex had nothing to do with my voting against her." "The U.S. budget deficit does not affect the nation's economy." "Our tobacco company found no supporting evidence that smoking is harmful to your health." "The Treasury's new tax reform will benefit every man, woman and child in this country." "It's impossible. Our computer never makes a mistake." "You will make a fortune if you invest in the New Orleans World's Fair." "Acid rain is not a problem." "Just leave your name with the answering service and we'll get back to you right away." "This university has never offered a high school star football player anything more than room and board to recruit him." "If you ban bullets that penetrate policemen's armored vests, every hunter and sportsman in America will be penalized." "This is the last diet you will ev e r have to go on. "I only posed for one roll of film for Penthouse magazine." , "If you buy our product and you're. not satisfied, you may return it within 30 days and we will cheerfully refund your money." "God wants you to vote for Ronald Reagan." "As a lawyer, all I'm asking is justice for my client." "Quiet diplomacy works better than public demonstrations to release political prisoners." "The Soviet Union would never interfere in the domestic affairs of Poland." "Our latest model will give you 40 miles to the gallon." "The FBI does not consider blowing up a Planned Parenthood clinic a terrorist act." "Deregulation of natural gas will lower your heating bills." "You can move in tomorrow and you won't have to do one thing to fix it up." "Our delivery man will be at your house before noon." V 1985, Los Angeles Tinies Syndicate 1 Declassified in Part - Sanitized Copy Approved for Release 2012/01/19: CIA-RDP90-00965R000200930019-1