So Osama has gone green. The FBI are now staking out Toyota garages to capture him when he takes in his Prius to get it fixed.
Blaming America for climate change must be an Al thing - al-Qaeda, Al Gore...
Perhaps like Gore, Bin Laden is after a Nobel prize for kidding on he cares about the planet too.
According to the polls, there has been a huge upsurge in people who have stopped believing that global warming is man-made.
This has been put down to global warming scientists being caught making stuff up, stuff like unless they get billions and billions of pounds in funding the oceans will rise four and a half feet by next Tuesday.
If that's true, it would be incredibly bad news for Gordon Strachan unless he has stilts.
The scientists also say the temperatures will rise by quite a few degrees.
"Brilliant," said Vernon Kay, as it will thaw out Tess Daly's side of the bed.
Vernon is quite green though because instead of actually travelling by car to see five girls he cut his carbon footprint by just having text sex.
So well done Vernon, for putting the planet's needs before your own.
Vernon got a text back too. Thanks to the revelations, golfer Tiger Woods texted to ask him if he'd partner him in a pro-am tournament. I do genuinely believe that global warming is man-made.
After all, methane is a greenhouse gas, and with Gordon Brown eating nine bananas a day, how much flatulence is he producing?
Probably enough to turn the planet into a wasteland.
Not that Brown would ever admit that, because he admits nothing. Admits nothing, but emits plenty.
He'll probably even blame David Cameron for putting a whoopee cushion under his seat at Prime Minister's Questions.
On the upside, Douglas Alexander sits directly behind the PM at PMQs, and all I can say to that is, good.
See, so global warming is indeed man-made, and the man who's making it is Gordon Brown - the Toyota of politics.
Everyone wants him to stop... but he won't, he just won't.
THERE were heated exchanges in the Scottish Parliament over Nicola Sturgeon's plea to a court not to jail a £138,000 fraudster.
The exchanges were provided by Alex Salmond and Iain Gray and the heat was provided by the warmth coming off the reddie on Sturgeon's face.
In her plea, Sturgeon said: "What's £138,000 nowadays?"
Good point - it's only 69 auctioned £2,000 lunches with the Deputy First Minister.
Opposition parties are accusing Sturgeon - also the health secretary - of an astonishing error of judgement.
But she hit back, saying: "Look, I've been assured that the Bay City Rollers' hairstyle is back in."
THE Naked Rambler received another sentence, this time 21 months Inmates get time off for good behaviour, he gets time added for nude behaviour.